She left
by Hydrobius
Summary: She can abandon me, but my mind can't let her go. One sided BBRae. Oneshot.


She is a dark temptation, my own little piece of dark. Staying next to her makes me feel like I am one of the few chosen she would allow near her. And, even though those amethyst eyes don't like me at all, that affirmation is true – their owner would never accept a stranger near her. Even for us, our family, she doesn't like to show off. It's a shame she doesn't know she glows all the time. She doesn't know how much I want to touch her velvet skin.

When I was younger I just wanted her attention, even though she would think I'm a little annoying brother. However, it hurt when I discovered spying on one of those "girls' night" that she could barely tolerate me. At the next day I simply couldn't look to her. The others noticed, but I didn't care – I wanted her, and only hers, attention. After some hours depressed, I gave up and smiled, as Cy and Star didn't leave me alone. I knew the birdies were together, probably talking about something dense and dark I will never understand.

A couple of months later, she revealed her origins to the team. It was quite ironic, since I could say she was – and still is – my personal demon, haunting my dreams every single day. I was still broken – even though I didn't know exactly what I felt for Terra, she was, at least, one of my best friends. I could say it was an adolescent crush. Thinking that I could lose Rae scared me. A lot. I tried to stay as close to her as I could, but as the days were passing, I noticed that she was bounding with Robin. They were passing almost the whole free time we had together – even when Star wanted to speak with "Friend Robin" he wouldn't let my Raven alone. And she liked this. I never saw her so carefree, with her eyes sparkling that much. She was happy, and I was green – what an ironic joke.

Then, she gave herself to her father. I couldn't believe she simply quitted like that, after all the work we had to protect her. When she was leaving, I knew what she would do – it was written in her eyes. When she looked at me, I could saw the sadness, and a bit of remorse. Maybe she liked me, too. Yes, keep dreaming, idiot.

I wanted more than everything to go to hell rescue her. I was a little puppy without an owner, without a purpose. It was suicide, I knew, but I couldn't care less. She was my mistress and I would root in hell if that brought her back. However, our leader had to be the hero, as always. He had to save her; to make her love him more, if that was possible. And after, like a goddess, Rae has saved us, she hugged him. Of course, it was him. Who would hug the joker when you have the enchanted prince by your side?

After Tokyo, I thought things were getting better for me because Robin and Star have gotten together. I was quite happy for them, of course, but I simply couldn't forget that the path was clean for me. I saw that my bird was more secluded than normal, which was perfectly coherent. After all, she lost the one she love for her best friend. However, I could see a small smile on her lips. Happy for the ones she treasures the most. She loved them too much to be sad.

The night before we got back to Jump City, we went to the same karaoke bar I did. I feel like the king of the world, having all those girls wanting me, even though they weren't my sinful desire. After a while, she was gone – being honest, she hasn't stayed for more than half an hour. I thought she needed her space because her empathic powers, so I let her go. After a couple of minutes, though, I saw the other bird leaving after giving Star a last kiss. I had to leave; I had to be sure they weren't together. Yes, I was quite sure they would never break Star's heart, but the simply idea of them alone gives me nausea.

Going to the bathroom, I morphed into a butterfly and flew through the window. First I went to the hotel we were staying, but there were no signs of both of them. Changing to a raven – what convenient –, to have a better endurance, I decided to search for them, circling the city. After a while, I saw both talking and smiling on a bridge while looking to the lake beneath them. She was smiling, and so was him, all eyes closed. He was with an arm on her shoulder blades, pressing her against his chest. His chin was above her head, protecting her even more. If I didn't know better, I could swear they were a couple. She seemed so relaxed, more than she has ever been after hours of meditation.

I think it was that moment I rationally concluded that I wouldn't have a chance, even after a million years. Her heart would forever be his, even though they would never be together. And what's worst: I wasn't sure anymore if Robin didn't like her. I knew he felt a strong attraction for Star, but I never saw him so careful with her like he was being with Rae. However, my heart simply couldn't accept that I've lost. So I simply flew away, wandering what I would do without my little vixen.

After six months, Robin and Star broke up. Everybody thought they would fight and have a chaotic ending, but the opposite happened. Both were quite unhappy with their relationship, even an idiot could see. Star wanted to go to "the mall of shopping" and Robin got tired really fast. On the other side, Star never understood Robin's workaholic habits, constantly feeling rejected when a new criminal appeared. After talking for a while – with three pair of eyes lurking – they simply hugged each other, both happier than before. All the feelings they had for each other, which had disappeared with all the frustration, seemed to come back, which made all of us content.

Yesterday, a whole year after the break-up, all the guys from Titans East and West were reunited on a "guys' night". We decided to go to a bar, drink – as most of us are, by now, legally allowed to drink – and have fun. After a couple of beers, we were all dancing at the sound of a crappy country song, more yelling than singing the lyrics. It was all peace, until Speedy started the chaos.

_"__Hey, guys, tell me something. Would you date a titan? I can say Starfire is really, really, hot, and I think Robin is an idiot to let her skipping! Who would date that traffic light using cheap hair gel unless her?" Speedy yelled, teasing my leader._

_"__Ha ha ha, you are so funny, Speedy!" Said Robin "Let me tell you a secret," And he came closer to the archer, whispering the last part "if you like Star that much, you should tell her. I know she is attracted to you!"_

_"__Well, I will try, then. But if you have lied to me, Boy Wonder, I'll break your nose. Deal?" Speedy laughed "Now, tell me, when are you going to make a move on our little Miss Lily Munster?"_

_"__If everything goes alright, I'll take her to a date tomorrow. I've already talked to Star and she's happy for me, so there is nothing more holding my plans. I just hope Rae likes me back." My leader replied._

_My heart broke after listening this. Yes, she still loved him; she has waited. The whole world and I knew that. I was going to lose her if I didn't do a thing. And due this I decided to apply the best plan my drunken brain could think. I simply sat up, walked without grace near Robin. And I punched him. He punched me._

_After that my mind was blank. I don't remember what I've done, or who has won the battle. All that I know is I woke up with a really strong headache, a few bruises and marks and with a feeling I am going to pay for my imprudence._

Oh, boy, how that feeling was right. After a huge lecture and a interrogatory, which was a huge waste of time, as I haven't replied to a thing, Robin, with that same arrogant pose and looking exactly the same, let me go. I concluded my angel has healed him, of course. Probably she's so angry with me she won't talk to me for ages.

However, I didn't expect to go to the main room and saw the birdies kissing. Probably last night brought both closer, if that's possible. Probably the alcohol has made Robin slip his secret. I can see how she was healing him, and then he grabbed her hand and kissed her. Maybe they have done even more. Yes, it was my entire fault. Maybe if I had done everything different. Maybe if I wasn't so desperate for her attention. That doesn't care anymore, because my bird is kissing another. _Her prince._


End file.
